Foot In My Mouth
The old idiom “foot in my mouth” means that someone is speaking badly and not paying attention to what they are saying resulting in them saying something they wish they hadn’t said.
Has this ever happened to you?
It just happened to me and I want to share how self coaching got me through and taught me some important life lessons that I hope might help you when you put your foot in your mouth.
It is so easy to get caught in our tunnel vision when it comes to our beliefs. Beliefs are things that we think are true and that we hold dear. Our “truth” makes it hard to see or consider others’ beliefs. I learned that it is important to get out of our tunnels in order to expand our view so that we can be more conscious of others’ beliefs before we speak or share ours. An even better way to share beliefs is to ask permission so that we know that others' are open to hearing our belief without becoming offended or defensive and know that we just have the desire to speak what is true to us even if it contradicts what is true to someone else.
Holding space is critical for deep lasting relationships and is one of my favorite coaching tools. Holding space simply means to replace judgment of others with curiosity, love, and compassion. We all have beliefs that we hold dear and they don’t always align with other’s beliefs. When this is the case, we can become defensive and reactive when someone shares their beliefs that we disagree with. When this happens, the best thing we can do is hold space for ourselves and others so we don’t say and do things that we don’t mean or that will hurt and damage others. This tool helps us to be less selfish because it allows us to think of others instead of just ourselves.
Getting on someone’s map helps us to not form judgments or make assumptions. It is so easy to assume that we know what others are thinking and feeling when in all actuality we don’t. To get one someone’s map looks like asking them questions that allow us to have a better understanding of their point of view and their beliefs. It also helps know where they are at and what they mean. This tool enhances holding space because then we are able to get off our map and out of our beliefs and get onto theirs so we have more clarity.
So often contention results from misunderstandings and unintentional words and deeds. If we can learn to master these three tools, the world would be a much more peaceful loving place.
I’m grateful that these three things helped me to remove my foot from my mouth yesterday so that I could mend and repair the damage that I had cause.
And my prayer is that it can do the same thing for you should you ever find yourself with your foot in your mouth.
JOYfully,
Rachel
My friend, coaching is life changing. If you are feeling stuck by a thought, feeling, or behavior, let’s chat because I know how to help people get unstuck and create what they want.