Corrective vs Preventative Parenting
This lesson has 100x’d my relationship with my children.
Once I began to believe that I was the best mom for my children and that’s why they were sent to me, I desired to become the best mom I could possibly be.
My desire led me to Jesse Heaton, an amazing Clinical Mental Health Counselor, who has helped me 100x my parenting.
One of the most influential tools he has taught me is the Parenting Pyramid created by the Arbinger Institute.
The five skill sets of the parenting pyramid are :
corrective teaching
preventative teaching
quality time
significant other time
personal way of being
Understanding corrective vs. preventative teaching has been life changing for me.
Jesse taught me that corrective teaching is fixing something after it has already gone wrong. Whereas preventative teaching is looking at what has happened and then preventing it in the future.
I was a master at corrective teaching. My mother had used corrective teaching and I realized that I was parenting the same way I had been parented. I was, in fact, becoming my mother!
Now in my humble opinion, there is nothing wrong with becoming like my mother, except for the fact that I would tune my mom out when she started lecturing me.
I noticed that my kids would do the same thing to me and that my parenting method was not very effective.
As soon as I stopped trying to “fix” what had already gone wrong by talking it to death with my children, life got better.
I began giving my kids space so they could reflect and analyze the circumstance by themselves, and then I held them accountable for their actions. I waited for them to be ready to talk and then I listened.
When it was my turn to talk, I chose my words wisely and articulately. I stood side by side with my child so we could place the circumstance out in front of us and get curious about what happened and why it happened.
We separated ourselves from the circumstance and eliminated any blame so we could work together to create solutions that would prevent the same circumstance from occurring in the future.
Although I still catch myself at the start of a great lecture, I am able to recognize when I am being corrective in my parenting and can decide if it is really the most effective way to parent in that moment.
I have noticed a greater level of trust, an increase in respect, a higher degree of tolerance, a deeper understanding, and an abundance of love and charity between me and my children as I rely more on preventative parenting than corrective parenting.
Our home is truly becoming a heaven on earth as we work together to prevent trying circumstances from frequently occurring.
I am slowly but surely becoming the best mom I can be through small and simple things and it fills me with JOY!
This month in the Mom’s Club, Jesse is teaching us how to use the Parenting Pyramid to be better mothers so we can experience more JOY on a daily basis.
There are so many different skills, tools, and aspects when it comes to parenting, but this tool will help you analyze and assess how your time is being spent so that you can make wise conscious choices on to spend your time each day.
As you learn this skill, you can show up as the best version of the mother you want to be and you too will create a home that is becoming a heaven on earth.
Click the button below to learn more.
We’re just getting started, so I hope to see you on our next coaching call.
JOYfully,
Rachel